I'm going HAM for mine, what about you?

My posts about my triumph over tragedy are about ME! In the midst of my personal triumph I see that not all of my family members are at the same stage as I am on this grief journey. I'm reminded of this when I see my daughter go through her own growing pains in accepting the losses we have experienced and today was a very trying day for her.

I can only pray for her, I know that God is OUR HEALER and I model, teach and guide her through her pain as best I can. My heart ached for her as I watched her struggle with her emotions and waited patiently for her to share with me what was going on with her even though the Holy Spirit had already revealed it to me. Her pain pierced my heart as I prayed silently and then aloud for her to see and hear how to press through past her emotions.

When she asked me how will she know when God is talking to her, I realized she didn't have ENOUGH EXPERIENCES WITH GOD to recognize His voice over the others. I shared that just like she knows me well because we spend time together she has to do the same thing with God in order to discern HIS voice!

PARENTS WE HAVE TO TEACH THEM CONSISTENTLY HOW TO DO THIS!! Their very souls depend upon them being able to discern the voice of God in order to make wise decisions. I'm going HAM for mine, are you? I have to STAY SOBER MINDED FOR THE SAKE OF THE CALL! I'm called to steward as a parent over the one child He left me with and I take my assignment seriously! 

After all, GOD TRUSTS ME WITH THIS MOST TREASURED, PRECIOUS POSSESSION, HIS CHILD MMI!!

As I reflect on this Mother's Day...

As I reflect on this Mother's Day,
I looked through many of your posts and read all of the tributes in honor of Mother and was blessed to see pics of you and your Mom or in memory of Mom. I realized that 22 years have gone by since my own momma passed, WOW!
If I've learned nothing else over these years, I've learned this much for sure! Cherish the moments, create memories, and keep in touch with your mother 'cause when she's gone that's it NO DO OVERS! The same can be said for anybody in your life that you will miss immensely once they have departed.
The same love and affection demonstrated this weekend should be lavished on them daily! People really don't hear enough how much they are appreciated WHILE THEY CAN HEAR IT! Please don't wait for the designated holidays to show them that you truly love them, let everyday be THAT DAY!
One more thing: I made it my motto 27 years ago after my dad died to treat each day as if it's their (loved ones') last, one day you WILL BE CORRECT!

My thoughts on a Good Man

A friend of mine on Facebook posted this:

"I don't think men have issues accepting that we'll lie in a heart beat: I think we have issues with being EXPOSED as liars before our women."

Is this true? That's a very sad commentary if so, why not just be honest and you won't have to worry about how you come across to your woman! Duh!

That's why I've passed on so many men because this is very important to me if you want me to trust your leadership as head of our house! NEXT.....!!!!

I've been single, head of household for more than a minute now and if you want me to submit to your leadership you need a track record of your obedience to following HIM for me to see that you are a good follower. Great leaders were ALWAYS great followers! Who you follow is where you will lead me.

I'm in many FB relationship groups and have commented in many of them about preparedness for marriage. Being formerly single w/no kids, married w/no kids, married w/kids and now widowed (single again) w/kid, I feel like I have a distinct experience and perspective on living the single life.

Most of the so called experts online are men who are reformed pimps and whoremongers who want to share the secret of getting a man. PUH-LEEZE! Many of the women online who offer that same advice do not have nearly as large a following (groupies) as the men.

I'm burnt out on all the advice out here and wanted to share my own tried and true experience of what to look for and here is my opinion of what a Good Man is FOR ME:

A man who is ready to commit to me ONLY, I don't want to be his #1 lady. He also demonstrates his fidelity to serving our God, not just lip service. I'm second in his life AFTER GOD, not his children. He knows what his life's purpose is and is walking in it and realizes he needs help (wife) to complete it. He realizes that I am his gift from God and appreciates God hooking him up with me. We both know or are willing to learn how to become one to fulfill God's purpose as a couple then blended family. He realizes that a good man leaves an inheritance for our children's children and works to make that happen.

When he knows his purpose and Godly assignment THEN he can better choose a helpmeet (wife) to HELP him meet and fulfill that assignment. Anything else is just fooling around, working out his issues in other women's lives until he figures out what he's doing. What's so disconcerting to me is that many Christian men claim to know better (God's Word) on the matter of sexual purity and still want to do it their way (auditioning women in their beds knowing full well they aren't even much interested in "wife-ing" them).

I'm accountable to God for my own decisions and when I meet disappointing men like this I deal with them accordingly.There was a reason why the men of the bible were older when they married. They had to PROVE themselves ready to provide for their own household and most times that takes time. A man also needs to have the emotional intelligence to be able to lead his family with Godly wisdom because he has filled his heart with God's Word which he then uses to make wise decisions.

Unfortunately, I've heard too many men confess that they've wasted the better part of their lives because it took them so long to figure out their destiny. Ladies, if he hasn't grown up emotionally and mentally no need to play house and allow him to ruin your life! WHEN he realizes his purpose and begins to walk in it, he will realize that he's missing his helpmeet and THAT's when he should began watching and waiting for confirmation from God on who is best suited to be his helpmeet. There is a Godly standard that is well established in His Word to follow for this, all he needs to do is study God's Word. It's up to each of us individually to accept or reject this wisdom, just like salvation. Some come into agreement with His Word sooner than others and some not at all. It's up to us to choose wisely. In my opinion,when you know better you should DO BETTER, I'm just saying...

Relationships today...

What I have noticed about relationships is this: we have become used to using personal services as needed and when completed we or they leave . Even if we have a long standing relationship around services rendered we deal with people on OUR terms. When we want them (their services) we contract for them, if not, no contact. 

This has negatively impacted our expectations of relationships to the point that marriages and singles in relationships have NOT cultivated the skill of suffering long for any reason. Long-suffering is a fruit of the Holy Spirit that will never be developed until we employ it! If you develop the habit of only being bothered with people when you feel like it and isolating yourself when you don't feel like it, you're setting yourself up for failed relationships. 

You have to have tolerance and patience in relationships be they with a spouse, parent, child or at work. You need the grace that comes from the fruit of the Holy Spirit to be able to manage your relationships well, you can't manage them successfully without it! The fruit or the result of having the Holy Spirit activated in your life is a life lived peaceably in all of your interpersonal relationships. This is fundamental if you are seeking life long relationships with others.

Once we understand that much about ourselves then we will know why certain relationships don't, can't and won't work out. 

Time. 

Time spent. 

Time spent cultivating. 

Time spent cultivating your relationships is what will determine the ultimate success or failure of it. Are you willing to put in the time? Do your actions reflect that? 

Count the total cost before you contact people for their companionship. If all you want is to be serviced on YOUR TERMS then contract for that service. Don't lead others to believe that they are in a relationship with you because clearly you have other motives and that is how we define SELFISHNESS!!!

The Three Love Affairs of BBD

The love affair between Bern and her husband - 1989.

* Prayed that God would reveal our mates by Memorial Day/his birthday that year!

* Had known of each other for four years from the same friend circle.

* God opened our natural eyes to see each other as more than friends.

* I waited for him to make the first move, after he did, I responded!

* On our first date he proposed, I accepted, we double dated for a month then got 

married!

* We were married 12 1/2 years when tragedy struck and changed my life forever.

The love affair between Bern and her Lord - 2002.

* After realizing the love of my life was dead along with my firstborn, I had to 

determine who REALLY was my #1 love!

* After determining that my #1 love (God) was still with me, I knew I could and would make it through!

* I decided to become a model and living witness of the power of God to enable us to come through and not just go through the things that He allows in our life.

* As I kept that mantra before me of God giving us everything we need to not only go 

through but come through the trials of our faith, I believed I could and would and did this very hard thing!

The Love Affair between Bern and her God - 2009/2010

* God prompted me to write my story as a guide for others to follow that inspires and encourages them to know that they can make it too!

* Life is NOT OVER just because you've suffered a tragic setback!

* With God as our ultimate life coach we can make it through everything He allows to happen in our lives.

What heartbreak has God allowed in your life?

Where are you in that grief journey?

Still sore, bitter or better?

Let me tell you about My #1 and why His being My #1 kept me from losing my mind after all seemed lost. 

My husband was NOT my #1!

My children were NOT my #1! 

My job was NOT my #1! 

My #1 Is Still My #1! and because He is, I'm still here! Hallelujah! Have you figured it

out yet? GOD has been and still is My #1!

It's not always been so, but after I reordered my priorities after the death of both my

parents, I was straight and more prepared the second time I lost half my family in a car accident. Yes, you heard me right, the second time in one lifetime, to the same person! Twice in a my lifetime! What in the world?!

Today, if you received that kind of news what would be your first reaction? (WFA) I did all of that, what next? How would you plan to move on? Could you move on?

Let me share three of the ten principles found in my book, My #1 Is Still My #1! that can help you to survive the darkest night of your soul...

1) Make sure that God is #1 in your life before a crisis cones into your life!

2) Create a 911 list of people who know how to pray and will go to war in spiritual

battle for your soul!

3) Appoint a gatekeeper for access to you! This person will answer phone calls, the door and all repetitive questions for you from family and friends.

You will weary from the emotional drain if you don't plan to do these 3 things ahead of time!

Are You a Better Parent than Spouse?

I have, like some of you, read many blogs and articles on relationships and all of them had a common theme: Single adults looking for a relationship, companionship, or marriage. I often wondered after reading those articles what was the REAL reason why so many adults are still single today? Why is the single population larger now than at any other time in history?

As I pondered the subject for days and examined my own relationships and those in my circle, I discovered a common thread. We all were better at being parents than we were as potential spouses. Yeah that’s right, I went there! Could it be that those of us who have lamented about the quality of singles in the collective dating pool are ourselves part of the dilemma?

Most singles today are also parents! Without a doubt our children are a priority in the work/life balancing act that we juggle daily. Trying to add a relationship on top of that schedule is daunting at best and down right laughable when you try to figure out the logistics and costs of baby sitters, where can we go out that won’t put a dent in our pockets or our fuel budgets until that next paycheck (are you nodding yet)! It almost seems reasonable and realistic to just not even try to date until the kids are older and/or grown and out the way, right? Thus we come back to my original question: Are you a better parent than spouse?

As single parents we resign ourselves to sacrificing OUR life for the sake of our kids and wear it as a badge of honor when discussing our lot with family and friends. Are you guilty of the martyr syndrome? “I’ll just wait until the kids are gone before I get back into the dating game; I don’t want to bring all of ‘those people’ around my child because it’s not a good look, etc. etc.” All of those reasons are notable but also plays right into my point of why we are better parents than spouses at this time. Maybe, just maybe, you would rather parent right now than add the hard work of trying to develop a relationship that may end in marriage on top of that.

Let’s face it all relationships demand attention!

Parent/own child,

You/own parent

Friend/Friend,

Work/Colleagues,

Siblings

Now add another budding relationship that needs time and attention to grow and thrive! I’m already tired! Aren’t you? I want this, right? BUT, do I have the time to put into this to nourish it and make it solid? Am I willing to give up that time? Hmmmm, that’s the million dollar question and when and where the rubber meets the road, baby!

You want a rock solid relationship but your job, ministry or business, limits the time you can commit to getting to know this person. They get tired of being placed on the back burner and “keep it moving”. Darn it, another relationship bites the dust!

You never get past that period in a relationship where you have to decide if this person is worth your investment of time and energy or should you maintain your work/life balance between ministry, business or job and children. As a single adult we have the option to invite (by choice) a significant other into our daily life, married folks already have it built in!

It’s at this point we determine if it’s worth the hassle of trying to make the relationship work or if we will re-categorize that person to suit our own needs. That’s how people move positions without even knowing they’ve been moved. You thought you were their man or woman and you’ve been “benched” without even knowing it. You figure it out eventually but not without anger and resentment at the time you wasted trying to wait that person out due to miscommunication or lack of communication. You go back hard into your previous status quo of life with your focus being on your children, work or business and ministry and the cycle continues.

My question to you is this, have you reconciled that you might just be a better parent than spouse or mate? Being in a relationship is for grown ups and should be respected as such. I think most singles want to have someone at the ready for when they have time “to play” but aren’t really interested in an ongoing relationship with someone. They can do without the relationship drama just give them the perks of a relationship: designated escort for all social functions, someone to hang out and play with when they have the time available, and no strings attached sex if both are interested in that benefit package.

Ask yourself this question: If you can parent your child, balance your career, ministry and social life without having to make a commitment to a relationship, what is the incentive to “boo” up with someone? Just keep it casual, convenient and on your terms, right?

Which brings me right back to my original question: Are you a better Parent than a Spouse? For some of you that is the reason why you are single; for others of you that’s the reason why you need to remain single!

MEMO

TO: Single Parents who are dating!

RE: You make time for what and who matters to you!

Signed,

Bernice Bright Dickey, Author @

http://www.bernicebrightdickey.com/

WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE!

What I know for sure is how to bounce back from setbacks! Yes, I do!

I lost my husband and oldest daughter in an automobile accident ten years ago.  My infant daughter at the time was the only survivor of that accident with second and third degree burns. I kept a journal of my feelings and thoughts as I endured the pain of losing half my family at one time in addition to caring for an injured child. This was the second time in my lifetime that I lost half my family in a car accident, the first time it was my parents. Although there are books on grief and loss, I couldn't find a book for people like myself who suffered multiple losses at the same time or within a short period of time.

Grief is a hard subject to talk about and many don’t know how to help the bereaved. So I transformed my journal entries into a resourceful book entitled My #1 Is Still My #1! It teaches family and friends how to help their loved ones navigate through the tremendous pain that we all go through when we experience a death.

We all know people who have never been the same after they experienced heart break and pain because of life’s circumstances. We usually refer to them as Auntie So-n-so or Uncle So-n-so who have never been the same since such-n-such happened! Right? I didn’t want to become part of those statistics. I knew I was drunk with grief from the tragedy of losing both my husband and 10 years old daughter at the same time in that fiery crash, but I was sober enough to NOT WANT that to be the end of my story. So, I summoned up the courage to find something worth living for and I found it in the Word of God! God was #1 in my life before the accident and I wanted Him to STILL BE My #1 after the accident!

In my private time with God, I discovered that I was left behind for a reason, my time was not up. I still had an assignment to do here on earth AND I could do it alone! My divine destiny did not include those who had passed on. Recognizing that one God revelation liberated me from the fear of going on alone to see what my end would be - without them.

God revealed to me that I had everything I needed to make it through my life’s journey already deposited in me and all I had to do was pull it up out of me! I wasn’t hopeless, helpless, or a victim of my circumstances anymore – I was (AM) a Victor! I can choose to triumph over my tragedies; they didn’t have the power to define me! With this second revelation I shook myself loose from the depression and despair that hung on me like a sweater and dropped it on the floor. I decided to pick up the garment of praise and dance my way out of my tragedy while singing:

“Because of You I live, because of You I live, I live to worship You!” As I continued to sing songs of praise unto God for what I still had left, my spirit lifted and hope replaced despair!

Every negative thought was countered with a faith confession! I spoke God’s Word over myself and His Word began to define me, not my tragedy! I was freed and liberated from my circumstances by the life giving Word of God! I broke the negative cycle of grief and loss by speaking the Word of God out loud and The Holy Spirit coaching me through it!

Today, I am still victorious in spite of the emotional triggers of holidays, birthdays, anniversaries or graduations. I am still here serving as YOUR spiritual “Harriet Tubman”, leading the way to your freedom from the spirit of heaviness that has oppressed you up until this day! This is my prayer for all of you, “I decree and declare your freedom from the ‘blues’ by the shed Blood of Jesus! You CAN walk out of the cave of depression you are in today by the same Power of God that works in me! You are Delivered, Hallelujah! Our God is no respecter of persons, what He has done for me is offered to you! Accept the work of His Only Son, Jesus, who has already won this fight for you – it’s fixed, you win! Get up from the floor of despair and fight back against your depression in the Precious Name of Jesus, Amen!”

Bernice Bright Dickey is the author of, “My #1 Is Still My #1!” her inspirational story of triumph after the tragedy of losing both her husband and daughter at the same time in a car accident. To contact her and to read more about her story please click on her website at http://www.bernicebrightdickey.com/.

Remember The Sabbath, Keep It Holy!

I TAKE a sabbath day of rest every week! God created us to work six days and take one day off to rest. When we go against that principle we get stressed out and exhausted. Ever since I began practicing this principle, I've felt like I can manage my schedule and better prioritize what needs to get done because I can think more clearly after resting.

What got me in the habit of consistently TAKING my sabbath day of rest was a major life event that caused me to change my outlook on life and to make some major changes to protect my health. Life's demands on me had caused me to run 25/8 (not 24/7) full throttle, because I felt I HAD to do it all in order to get it all done!

I worked overtime. I worked constantly. I worked long and hard over a long period of time (five years) and my body went on strike and WOULD NOT COMPLY ANYMORE with the demands I had placed on myself. I had forsaken my sabbath day of rest for the illusion of getting more done and it was a LIE!!! I was (medically) forced to go lay down somewhere for many months due to the physical, mental and emotional exhaustion I had experienced and eventually had to retire from that very stressful job.

I had to get back to the basics of my instruction manual on life! God created us to work 6 days and rest 1 day on a weekly cycle, that's how we were designed! When we don't comply, we become ill, sick, bodies broke down, etc. as our bodies DEMAND the rest it needs to repair itself. When we are sick we slow down, take to our beds and sleep and rest until we get better. Our bodies are saying if we would only do this on a weekly basis, consistently, then "we (our bodies) wouldn't have to shut you down with sickness and disease in order to force you to give us time to REST!!"

MORAL of the story? Schedule and TAKE your SABBATH weekly! Do a word study on the meaning of sabbath and make a personal application to your life. Practice keeping the sabbath, it's the ONLY DAY that God commanded (10 Commandments) for us to keep HOLY! I can't wait to read your praise reports of living a more balanced life after becoming a SABBATH KEEPER! God WILL redeem time on your behalf and enable you to accomplish more in six days than you ever did in seven. It's the same principle that's in effect with tithing. Give God His 10% off the top and He makes sure that the remaining 90% that's left over covers all your expenses and more! Remember the sabbath, keep it holy, because our obedience to God's life principles produces prosperity in every aspect of our lives.

Again I say YOU MUST TAKE THE TIME TO DO THIS or you will forever feel overwhelmed, trust me - I'm older and wiser! ♥

This Testimony is REAL and Ongoing!

One of the side effects of losing half our family at one time in a car accident is the anxiety that Miriam has to hurry up and do it all before something bad happens. She wants to do everything at once, but I'm teaching her how to pace herself because we WILL have time to do it all. It's an emotional scar that I deal with daily and I try to coax her to trust God in this area as often as I can.

My testimony about the loss of half my family is MY testimony. Miriam is determining if it is hers. WOW! She is developing her OWN testimony about it and needs to vet it for herself!!! We are in transition and I'm rooting for her to COME through this just like I encourage others through the ministry of  the book My #1 Is Still My#1!

Everyday that Miriam lives she realizes that she has OUTLIVED her sister and from this point on she's leading a life that Naomi never did or will. I never realized the weight of that fact on her heart and mind. Help me to minister to my OWN child LORD as she goes through this stage in her grief and loss. WE NEED your prayer support, thanks! When I get this right she will be saved from a lifetime of unresolved grief and living healed and whole because of it! We will then be able to minister to other children and show them the way out too! GLORY!!!

What I share with you all in my posts are the day to day challenges of raising a child affected by tragedy at a very young age and how we are walking it out daily. I am encouraged for today is a good day!

What A Difference A Decade Makes!

This month 10 years ago my life changed dramatically! I lost my husband and eldest daughter in a car accident and my only surviving daughter, Miriam, was left with second and third degree burns. She was miraculously healed of her burn scars and I now live with a daily reminder of God's Grace and Mercy towards me! It has been a long journey towards recovery from grief and depression but TO GOD BE THE GLORY for transforming my story!

I'm writing this to encourage you to believe and have FAITH that God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we even know to think to ask of Him! He has healed my damaged emotions, kept me in my right mind and allowed me to be a stay at home Mom with my daughter. I have experienced multiple blessings over the years, too many to share in one post. I do share a few of them in my book, My #1 Is Still My #1!, which is my inspirational story of triumph over tragedy. This book offers hope to the hopeless, strength to the weak and a "how to" blueprint on moving through grief and loss. You can order it from my website at http://www.bernicebrightdickey.com/.

In celebration of the ten year anniversary God has allowed me several speaking engagements during the month of February. I will be speaking at several venues about how I overcame grief and loss and I invite you to come out and support me if you are in the Houston area. I will be posting them weekly on all social media platforms. Thank you in advance for your support now and down through the years!!

Tried and True Tips for making it through the holidays without loved ones

As part of my ministry to the bereaved and broken hearted I will be sharing tried and true tips for getting through the holiday season without your loved ones.

Tip #1 for making it through the holidays if you are still grieving over the loss of a loved one by death or divorce. Be intentional about making plans for the holidays. They will sneak up on you before you know it and everyone will think that someone else has invited you over for the holidays and you will end up home ALONE!
Let others know that you have made NO PLANS this year! Intentionally pla...n to do things differently than you would have with the loved one so that your past happy family memories won't weigh you down mentally and emotionally during the holidays. Create new holiday traditions with the family you still have and if remembering loved ones gone is comforting to you then by all means talk about them! Take away tip: Intentionally plan for how you will spend this holiday.

Tip #2 for making it through the holidays without your loved one. Create a 9-1-1 list of family and friends you can call when the going gets tough with overwhelming thoughts and memories.

You don't want to "catch up" anybody new to your testimony. These are people who already know your story and can pick up where you are emotionally by just hearing you breathe on the phone! They know you, they kn...ow what going it alone means to you this year and they are willing to be there for you at the drop of a hat.

Your 911 list is your emergency contact list when panic sets in, when grief overtakes you, when loneliness in the midst of company resonates with you - these are the people who understand what you are going through without you having to explain.

Compile that name list, keep it handy, and on speed dial and let them know who else is on that list so that they can keep up with what is happening to and with you. You want your 911 list to know and talk to each other, they will pray for you, intercede for you and cover each other as they all stand by you on this grief journey.

Tip #3 for making it through the holidays without a loved one. The last tip I will share for this series is forgive youself! Yes, FORGIVE YOURSELF for not wanting to participate in the holiday ra-ra-ra. Everyone else around you is going full speed ahead with the hustle and bustle of the holiday traditions of shopping, parties, tree trimming and the like and you just ain't feeling it, right? So what! Allow yourself to experience your true emotions and don't fake the funk. You're not there this year and those who know you realize that this is a difficult time for you.

Everywhere you turn you are reminded that your family has changed and so will your memories of the holidays going forward. It takes time to digest just how far reaching your loss is for you and your family and you need to be gentle with yourself. The world has not stopped to recognize that all of us aren't celebrating and we need not "hate on them" for not remembering that, LOL. If you have followed me and my first two tips, now is the time to implement them along with this final tip to help you make it through this holiday season.

You have Christmas AND New Year's to get through still, be on the lookout for the same emotions to come up next week as we turn the calendar on a new year. Same emotions, different day, same principles need to be applied! Let me know how you are doing this holiday season by posting your comments below, thanks!

The Ten Life Principles I learned from my own Journey through Grief

As I travel sharing my personal story of Triumph over Tragedy, these are The Ten Life Principles I learned from my own Journey through Grief that I teach to others who want a 1-2-3 blueprint on how to walk out of their emotional pain.

1.      Make sure God is #1 in your life before you experience a crisis.

It’s harder to prioritize a relationship with Christ/God during a crisis, because you are mad with the One (God) that allowed the crisis to come into your life.

2.      Make sure you have a strong support system (a 911 list) to call for help.

Take the time now to nurture relationships that will sustain you in your crisis. These people will become your go to people when the going gets tough.

3.      Make sure your inner circle is filled with positive people.

Positive people will speak life and not death into your circumstances. They will help you to see the bright side or the rainbow in the situation.

4.      Make sure you cultivate an attitude of gratitude!

Meditate, discuss and focus on what you still have left, instead of what was lost or who is no longer here.

5.      Make sure you schedule alone time for yourself.

You need time alone to give yourself time, permission and space to grieve.  You need to process your thoughts, emotions, and develop your plan of action for what you will do next after your crisis is over. Praying is continuous at this stage for wisdom and direction.

6.      Make sure you watch your mouth!

Watch what you say out loud about your situation. You are creating the future of how the crisis will be resolved with your own words. Life and death comes from your speech.

7.      Make sure you appoint a gatekeeper.

Ask someone you trust to be in charge of your domestic cares to manage the traffic of guests, calls, visitors, food, etc. to relieve you of that task.

8.      Make sure you set a goal for yourself of learning something from this crisis.

Catch yourself before your thoughts and conversations make you bitter. Make a goal to become BETTER, not bitter! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

9.      Make sure you confess your stress!

Be honest with yourself about how you really feel about what you are going through. Tell it to Jesus – alone – He is the ONLY ONE who can handle your honesty and will keep your secrets.

10.  Make sure you find the treasure in your trial!

After you identify the treasure in your trial, this will become your motivation to press through the difficulties, pain, and heartaches you will endure. This treasure will give you courage to COME through instead of just going through your crisis.

We all know people who have never been the same after they experienced heart break and pain because of life. We usually refer to them as Auntie So-n-so or Uncle So-n-so who have never been the same since such-n-such happened! Right? I didn’t want to become part of that statistic, I knew I was drunk with grief but I was sober enough to NOT want that to be the end of my story. So, I summoned up the courage to find something worth living for and I found it in the Word of God!

I was left behind for a reason, my time was not up, I still had work to do on earth, I could do it on my own, and my God destiny did not include those who had passed on, jobs that were gone, people who were no longer a part of my circle, etc. etc.

I had everything I needed to make it through this grief journey deposited in me and all I needed to do was pull it up out of me! I wasn’t hopeless, helpless, or a victim anymore – I was a Victor! I chose to triumph over my tragedy; my tragedy didn’t have the power to define me! I shook myself loose from the depression and despair that hung on me like a sweater and dropped it on the floor. I decided to pick up the garment of praise and dance my way out of my tragedy!

Every negative thought was countered with a faith confession! I spoke the Word over myself and the Word began to define me, not my tragedy! I was freed and liberated by the spoken Word of God over my circumstances! I broke the cycle of grief and loss with the Word of God and The Holy Spirit coaching me through!

My message of hope and inspiration to others is, “You can overcome your grief and loss, too, if you want to!” God is no respecter of persons, what He has done for me is offered to you! Accept the work of His Son, Jesus, who has already won this fight – it’s fixed, you win! You win! Get up from the floor and fight back this depression, you already won this fixed fight! Jesus paid it all on the cross and by His stripes we are healed! 

Bernice’s riveting story is featured in her first book My #1 Is Still My #1! In her book she shares about losing half her family twice in two separate auto accidents. She also guides faith-based groups and families coping with profound loss to persevere and believe the unlimited possibilities, even in the face of unimaginable and tragic loss.

To learn more about Bernice Dickey visit http://www.BerniceBrightDickey.com and like her fan page on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/Author.Bernice.Dickey.

ONE BLESSING!

For some of you the harvest that you are shouting about is nothing compared to the future harvest that you are going to get. But because you are currently faithful over little, get ready for much because much is coming your way. The Bible says that He would "Pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:10). You don't need 50 blessings, you just need ONE BLESSING!

God said that He would bring so much out of that ONE BLESSING that it would overflow out over the edges of your life because you won't have room to contain it! I declare that the ministry of My #1 will be laser focused to accomplish that which God has ordained it to do in the lives of His people. Amen!

Spiritual Revelation Through Conference Attendance

I just came off of two weeks straight of conference attendance and all I can say is that I am in AWE of God! Intensified, concentrated time with God should be a part of every believer's life. If you can do it with and along with others of like mind, it is incredible!

I attended the Kingdom Builder's Prayer Insitiute's Prayer Conference first and I experienced a spiritual shift that I didn't recognize was happening until after it happened. Has that ever happened to you? You didn't realize you were changed until AFTER it happened! I felt like the words to the song, "I looked at my hands and they looked new, I looked at my feet and they did too!" Be on the look out for nuggets of wisdom I will share from the Prayer Conference as I chew the cud on the revelations I received at that conference.

The second conference I attended was Woman Thou Art Loosed 2011 and this year God allowed me to volunteer behind the scenes and experiencing it from that perspective was eye opening! God allowed me to walk around and bless people who I saw needed a kind word and become a listening ear to those who needed to process all that had happened to them in that meeting. Many who attended stated it was their first time at a WTAL Conference and they could hardly stand it because the anointing was very heavy due to the Glory of God in the place! We could hardly speak because of the power of His presence and when we could do so, we could only grunt and shake our heads in awe! WOW, God, WOW! That's all I can say for now. That life changing experience will be one for the record books, I am sure of it! I am still shaking my head at it all as I await the DVDs to view what I missed and I was there!

Thank you Lord, for both of these "Kairos" experiences! I know they are preparations for the next level in my life and I am working out the revelations privately by fasting and praying before sharing them publicly!

My Latest Road Trip!

Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted!

I have been pondering how to share what I experienced this weekend on my road trip and so far, this is the best that I can come up with: 

What really counts? 

Money?  Insignificant!

What really matters?

A high number of book sales? I thought so!

What really counts then?

What has God given me? That's what I am responsible for.

What really matters then?

A saving Knowledge of Jesus Christ!!

As usual when I have a book signing, I set a goal of how many books I want to sell and this time was no different. With my goal in mind and my events planned out, I was sure to hit it this weekend, right? Right!

On the drive down, God  and I talked and I heard some things that I didn’t pay attention to before and knew this trip would be different, I just didn’t know how different! From the start I had a feeling this would be a breakthrough weekend for my hometown; I just didn’t know what to expect.

God showed up and out through the crowds that were just large enough for Him to walk among us and touch and heal hearts and minds that have been damaged by so much loss. The emotional healing that was available through our instant transparency with each other fostered this miracle. They were able to witness first hand my triumph after tragedy because I was there in the flesh and not just a story they read somewhere in the papers. Miriam was there, my family confirmed my testimony and shared their pain about my story and the healing began to flow! My hometown finally had someone who could identify with their multiple losses and who could attest to the faithfulness of God to keep you in the midst of multiple storms. 

That very anointing of God’s Spirit lead to my invite to the Troy Davis Memorial service where God used me again to refocus the audience on His Sovereignty in the midst of that tragedy. Sunday morning found us in the same spiritual vein when Pastor Webster preached from Philippians 3:8 where Paul counted everything he had accomplished before Christ as dog doo-doo compared to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ! WOW!

Three times the same message was confirmed to me that my assignment which God has given to me is not to sell a lot of books at book signings, but to make sure that all within my hearing know the saving Knowledge of Jesus Christ! My story aids me in this responsibility because it helps to bring the point home of the difference God made in my life, but the whole gist of it all is to bring everyone’s thoughts inward to themselves to make sure they are ready and prepared to meet their God and Maker when their time comes!

WOW! What a burden lifter that was for me! Every time I come back from a book signing one of the first questions I am asked is, “How many books did you sell?” My success was rated by how many books I sold and I thought so to until this weekend! I always had these anointed experiences where God used me to usher healing to my attendees but I never got to share that part because after I gave them a number they would say, “Oh well, better luck next time, you will sell more books or make your quota eventually!” 

I didn’t understand why those statements rubbed me the wrong way. I knew that the ministry of My #1 was successful just not by the terms they used. There has not been one time that I have ministered that the people were not healed and made whole. Everyone reports that either the book or listening to me share my testimony has delivered them from their spirit of heaviness and grief.  I give them a new perspective, God’s perspective, of the big picture that’s going on that they play a minor role in. It begins the renewing of their mind and leads them to where they can follow up and read on their own. The same God, who did it for me, will do the same for them, if they seek Him! 

I give them inspiration to hope again, to believe that their best is STILL yet to come in spite of the multiple losses they may have suffered and THAT to me IS A SUCCESSFUL BOOK SIGNING!

So from this point on, I will measure my success by the number of lives changed rather than books sold and I want you all to ask me for that number instead! BTW, that number was in the hundreds this weekend, I didn’t get to do an actual head count! J

Now to answer the original question posed of what really counts? 

Count your blessings, 

Name them one by one! 

Count your blessings,

See what the Lord has done!

Count your blessings, 

Name them one by one! 

Count your many blessings,

See what God has done!

Where will you go when all is lost? Who will you turn to?

We are all important, to Him; we are all of value to Him!

Make your decision now before the storms come and when it does you will know where to run to for safety! I am blessed to be your blessing, Love Bernice 

Labor Day Weekend Road Trip

The question was posed, "Did this trip meet my expectations for sales?" The
simple answer is 'no', I expected to sell 100 books and only sold 1. Yes (1) book, LOL!

But I still consider the road trip a success because of the safety and protection God
gave Miriam and I during the weekend in the middle of Tropical Storm Lee with two bald
tires.

I saw God show Himself strong on my behalf throughout the whole trip and was reminded
that even in the midst of a storm HE hides me! It rained in bands off and on the entire
weekend and I showed up for all of my scheduled events but the people didn't because of
the storm.

I was encouraged by the twelve souls that weathered the storm and joined church on Sunday
in the midst of the storm! Yes, you read that right, 12 people joined church on a dreary
rain soaked day at a church that meets in a tent! Those of us who braved the storm had a
wonderful praise that turned into worship service and God's presence filled that tent!

The church has met in a tent for 6 years ever since Hurricane Katrina and you can't tell
by the enthusiasm of the members during service that they realize they are in a tent! We
danced in the aisles and rejoiced in the tent that was our ark in the storm!

It was simply marvelous to behold and a reminder of the resiliency that I come from as a
NOLA native. I was comforted by the presence of God even in the midst of the storm and it
made me adjust my expectations of what a successful road trip meant. I wanted sales but
GOD showed me souls! Ain't that what it's really all about? TGBTG for transforming this
story for me!

I'm encouraged b/c all was rescheduled for next month and I'm expecting, I'm awaiting,
anticipating, my deliverance ~ My change is on the way!

Get Up And Walk!

Are you tired? Are you broken? Are you sick? Is your life just like a roller coaster that you just want off of? It's Time to get UP and Walk!

Join me and my guest, Jewels Staiger who knows what it's like to be so broken that getting out of bed is a chore.She knows what it's like to be so sick that you don't know if you are going to live and you are scared. She knows what it's like to just about lose all hope, when suddenly, something so amazing happens, that it takes a moment for you to realize that you've just experienced a genuine miracle!

Tune in as Jewels shares her story of how Jesus took her hand in His and enabled her To Get UP and Walk!

The Boaz Factor...When you are Ready for the Right One!

Looking for love? Hoped you would be a June bride by now? For women currently in a relationship, knowing who Boaz is will save your heart from putting in more time into something that will NOT materialize.You will be encouraged by my guest, Brenda Bradley's book The Boaz Factor...When you are Ready for the Right One!, which has been compared to Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man".  

During our interview, Brenda shares what are the signs of a Boaz man and why you can't turn your man into a Boaz! Tune in to listen as she makes the subject matter so simple that even a baby can understand it! When you are ready for the right one check this interview out!

You Never Get Over The Loss of a Child! Part 2

Join me as I talk to Joyce Adejumo about how her life changed after her ex husband drove drunk and crashed causing severe injury to their only child, Mitchie. Joyce shares how she used her own personal experience with drunk driving to motivate her to get several laws changed on behalf of victims here in Texas.

If you have ever been affected by a drunk driver you don’t want to miss part two of this very inspiring interview!

You Never Get Over The Loss of a Child!

Join me as I talk to Joyce Adejumo about how her life changed after her ex husband drove drunk and crashed causing severe injury to their only child, Mitchie. Joyce shares how she cared for Mitchie with a smile on her face for 18 years. If you have been affected by a drunk driver you don’t want to miss this one!