The Three Love Affairs of BBD

The love affair between Bern and her husband - 1989.

* Prayed that God would reveal our mates by Memorial Day/his birthday that year!

* Had known of each other for four years from the same friend circle.

* God opened our natural eyes to see each other as more than friends.

* I waited for him to make the first move, after he did, I responded!

* On our first date he proposed, I accepted, we double dated for a month then got 

married!

* We were married 12 1/2 years when tragedy struck and changed my life forever.

The love affair between Bern and her Lord - 2002.

* After realizing the love of my life was dead along with my firstborn, I had to 

determine who REALLY was my #1 love!

* After determining that my #1 love (God) was still with me, I knew I could and would make it through!

* I decided to become a model and living witness of the power of God to enable us to come through and not just go through the things that He allows in our life.

* As I kept that mantra before me of God giving us everything we need to not only go 

through but come through the trials of our faith, I believed I could and would and did this very hard thing!

The Love Affair between Bern and her God - 2009/2010

* God prompted me to write my story as a guide for others to follow that inspires and encourages them to know that they can make it too!

* Life is NOT OVER just because you've suffered a tragic setback!

* With God as our ultimate life coach we can make it through everything He allows to happen in our lives.

What heartbreak has God allowed in your life?

Where are you in that grief journey?

Still sore, bitter or better?

Let me tell you about My #1 and why His being My #1 kept me from losing my mind after all seemed lost. 

My husband was NOT my #1!

My children were NOT my #1! 

My job was NOT my #1! 

My #1 Is Still My #1! and because He is, I'm still here! Hallelujah! Have you figured it

out yet? GOD has been and still is My #1!

It's not always been so, but after I reordered my priorities after the death of both my

parents, I was straight and more prepared the second time I lost half my family in a car accident. Yes, you heard me right, the second time in one lifetime, to the same person! Twice in a my lifetime! What in the world?!

Today, if you received that kind of news what would be your first reaction? (WFA) I did all of that, what next? How would you plan to move on? Could you move on?

Let me share three of the ten principles found in my book, My #1 Is Still My #1! that can help you to survive the darkest night of your soul...

1) Make sure that God is #1 in your life before a crisis cones into your life!

2) Create a 911 list of people who know how to pray and will go to war in spiritual

battle for your soul!

3) Appoint a gatekeeper for access to you! This person will answer phone calls, the door and all repetitive questions for you from family and friends.

You will weary from the emotional drain if you don't plan to do these 3 things ahead of time!

Remember The Sabbath, Keep It Holy!

I TAKE a sabbath day of rest every week! God created us to work six days and take one day off to rest. When we go against that principle we get stressed out and exhausted. Ever since I began practicing this principle, I've felt like I can manage my schedule and better prioritize what needs to get done because I can think more clearly after resting.

What got me in the habit of consistently TAKING my sabbath day of rest was a major life event that caused me to change my outlook on life and to make some major changes to protect my health. Life's demands on me had caused me to run 25/8 (not 24/7) full throttle, because I felt I HAD to do it all in order to get it all done!

I worked overtime. I worked constantly. I worked long and hard over a long period of time (five years) and my body went on strike and WOULD NOT COMPLY ANYMORE with the demands I had placed on myself. I had forsaken my sabbath day of rest for the illusion of getting more done and it was a LIE!!! I was (medically) forced to go lay down somewhere for many months due to the physical, mental and emotional exhaustion I had experienced and eventually had to retire from that very stressful job.

I had to get back to the basics of my instruction manual on life! God created us to work 6 days and rest 1 day on a weekly cycle, that's how we were designed! When we don't comply, we become ill, sick, bodies broke down, etc. as our bodies DEMAND the rest it needs to repair itself. When we are sick we slow down, take to our beds and sleep and rest until we get better. Our bodies are saying if we would only do this on a weekly basis, consistently, then "we (our bodies) wouldn't have to shut you down with sickness and disease in order to force you to give us time to REST!!"

MORAL of the story? Schedule and TAKE your SABBATH weekly! Do a word study on the meaning of sabbath and make a personal application to your life. Practice keeping the sabbath, it's the ONLY DAY that God commanded (10 Commandments) for us to keep HOLY! I can't wait to read your praise reports of living a more balanced life after becoming a SABBATH KEEPER! God WILL redeem time on your behalf and enable you to accomplish more in six days than you ever did in seven. It's the same principle that's in effect with tithing. Give God His 10% off the top and He makes sure that the remaining 90% that's left over covers all your expenses and more! Remember the sabbath, keep it holy, because our obedience to God's life principles produces prosperity in every aspect of our lives.

Again I say YOU MUST TAKE THE TIME TO DO THIS or you will forever feel overwhelmed, trust me - I'm older and wiser! ♥

The Ten Life Principles I learned from my own Journey through Grief

As I travel sharing my personal story of Triumph over Tragedy, these are The Ten Life Principles I learned from my own Journey through Grief that I teach to others who want a 1-2-3 blueprint on how to walk out of their emotional pain.

1.      Make sure God is #1 in your life before you experience a crisis.

It’s harder to prioritize a relationship with Christ/God during a crisis, because you are mad with the One (God) that allowed the crisis to come into your life.

2.      Make sure you have a strong support system (a 911 list) to call for help.

Take the time now to nurture relationships that will sustain you in your crisis. These people will become your go to people when the going gets tough.

3.      Make sure your inner circle is filled with positive people.

Positive people will speak life and not death into your circumstances. They will help you to see the bright side or the rainbow in the situation.

4.      Make sure you cultivate an attitude of gratitude!

Meditate, discuss and focus on what you still have left, instead of what was lost or who is no longer here.

5.      Make sure you schedule alone time for yourself.

You need time alone to give yourself time, permission and space to grieve.  You need to process your thoughts, emotions, and develop your plan of action for what you will do next after your crisis is over. Praying is continuous at this stage for wisdom and direction.

6.      Make sure you watch your mouth!

Watch what you say out loud about your situation. You are creating the future of how the crisis will be resolved with your own words. Life and death comes from your speech.

7.      Make sure you appoint a gatekeeper.

Ask someone you trust to be in charge of your domestic cares to manage the traffic of guests, calls, visitors, food, etc. to relieve you of that task.

8.      Make sure you set a goal for yourself of learning something from this crisis.

Catch yourself before your thoughts and conversations make you bitter. Make a goal to become BETTER, not bitter! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

9.      Make sure you confess your stress!

Be honest with yourself about how you really feel about what you are going through. Tell it to Jesus – alone – He is the ONLY ONE who can handle your honesty and will keep your secrets.

10.  Make sure you find the treasure in your trial!

After you identify the treasure in your trial, this will become your motivation to press through the difficulties, pain, and heartaches you will endure. This treasure will give you courage to COME through instead of just going through your crisis.

We all know people who have never been the same after they experienced heart break and pain because of life. We usually refer to them as Auntie So-n-so or Uncle So-n-so who have never been the same since such-n-such happened! Right? I didn’t want to become part of that statistic, I knew I was drunk with grief but I was sober enough to NOT want that to be the end of my story. So, I summoned up the courage to find something worth living for and I found it in the Word of God!

I was left behind for a reason, my time was not up, I still had work to do on earth, I could do it on my own, and my God destiny did not include those who had passed on, jobs that were gone, people who were no longer a part of my circle, etc. etc.

I had everything I needed to make it through this grief journey deposited in me and all I needed to do was pull it up out of me! I wasn’t hopeless, helpless, or a victim anymore – I was a Victor! I chose to triumph over my tragedy; my tragedy didn’t have the power to define me! I shook myself loose from the depression and despair that hung on me like a sweater and dropped it on the floor. I decided to pick up the garment of praise and dance my way out of my tragedy!

Every negative thought was countered with a faith confession! I spoke the Word over myself and the Word began to define me, not my tragedy! I was freed and liberated by the spoken Word of God over my circumstances! I broke the cycle of grief and loss with the Word of God and The Holy Spirit coaching me through!

My message of hope and inspiration to others is, “You can overcome your grief and loss, too, if you want to!” God is no respecter of persons, what He has done for me is offered to you! Accept the work of His Son, Jesus, who has already won this fight – it’s fixed, you win! You win! Get up from the floor and fight back this depression, you already won this fixed fight! Jesus paid it all on the cross and by His stripes we are healed! 

Bernice’s riveting story is featured in her first book My #1 Is Still My #1! In her book she shares about losing half her family twice in two separate auto accidents. She also guides faith-based groups and families coping with profound loss to persevere and believe the unlimited possibilities, even in the face of unimaginable and tragic loss.

To learn more about Bernice Dickey visit http://www.BerniceBrightDickey.com and like her fan page on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/Author.Bernice.Dickey.

ONE BLESSING!

For some of you the harvest that you are shouting about is nothing compared to the future harvest that you are going to get. But because you are currently faithful over little, get ready for much because much is coming your way. The Bible says that He would "Pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:10). You don't need 50 blessings, you just need ONE BLESSING!

God said that He would bring so much out of that ONE BLESSING that it would overflow out over the edges of your life because you won't have room to contain it! I declare that the ministry of My #1 will be laser focused to accomplish that which God has ordained it to do in the lives of His people. Amen!

My Latest Road Trip!

Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted!

I have been pondering how to share what I experienced this weekend on my road trip and so far, this is the best that I can come up with: 

What really counts? 

Money?  Insignificant!

What really matters?

A high number of book sales? I thought so!

What really counts then?

What has God given me? That's what I am responsible for.

What really matters then?

A saving Knowledge of Jesus Christ!!

As usual when I have a book signing, I set a goal of how many books I want to sell and this time was no different. With my goal in mind and my events planned out, I was sure to hit it this weekend, right? Right!

On the drive down, God  and I talked and I heard some things that I didn’t pay attention to before and knew this trip would be different, I just didn’t know how different! From the start I had a feeling this would be a breakthrough weekend for my hometown; I just didn’t know what to expect.

God showed up and out through the crowds that were just large enough for Him to walk among us and touch and heal hearts and minds that have been damaged by so much loss. The emotional healing that was available through our instant transparency with each other fostered this miracle. They were able to witness first hand my triumph after tragedy because I was there in the flesh and not just a story they read somewhere in the papers. Miriam was there, my family confirmed my testimony and shared their pain about my story and the healing began to flow! My hometown finally had someone who could identify with their multiple losses and who could attest to the faithfulness of God to keep you in the midst of multiple storms. 

That very anointing of God’s Spirit lead to my invite to the Troy Davis Memorial service where God used me again to refocus the audience on His Sovereignty in the midst of that tragedy. Sunday morning found us in the same spiritual vein when Pastor Webster preached from Philippians 3:8 where Paul counted everything he had accomplished before Christ as dog doo-doo compared to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ! WOW!

Three times the same message was confirmed to me that my assignment which God has given to me is not to sell a lot of books at book signings, but to make sure that all within my hearing know the saving Knowledge of Jesus Christ! My story aids me in this responsibility because it helps to bring the point home of the difference God made in my life, but the whole gist of it all is to bring everyone’s thoughts inward to themselves to make sure they are ready and prepared to meet their God and Maker when their time comes!

WOW! What a burden lifter that was for me! Every time I come back from a book signing one of the first questions I am asked is, “How many books did you sell?” My success was rated by how many books I sold and I thought so to until this weekend! I always had these anointed experiences where God used me to usher healing to my attendees but I never got to share that part because after I gave them a number they would say, “Oh well, better luck next time, you will sell more books or make your quota eventually!” 

I didn’t understand why those statements rubbed me the wrong way. I knew that the ministry of My #1 was successful just not by the terms they used. There has not been one time that I have ministered that the people were not healed and made whole. Everyone reports that either the book or listening to me share my testimony has delivered them from their spirit of heaviness and grief.  I give them a new perspective, God’s perspective, of the big picture that’s going on that they play a minor role in. It begins the renewing of their mind and leads them to where they can follow up and read on their own. The same God, who did it for me, will do the same for them, if they seek Him! 

I give them inspiration to hope again, to believe that their best is STILL yet to come in spite of the multiple losses they may have suffered and THAT to me IS A SUCCESSFUL BOOK SIGNING!

So from this point on, I will measure my success by the number of lives changed rather than books sold and I want you all to ask me for that number instead! BTW, that number was in the hundreds this weekend, I didn’t get to do an actual head count! J

Now to answer the original question posed of what really counts? 

Count your blessings, 

Name them one by one! 

Count your blessings,

See what the Lord has done!

Count your blessings, 

Name them one by one! 

Count your many blessings,

See what God has done!

Where will you go when all is lost? Who will you turn to?

We are all important, to Him; we are all of value to Him!

Make your decision now before the storms come and when it does you will know where to run to for safety! I am blessed to be your blessing, Love Bernice 

Labor Day Weekend Road Trip

The question was posed, "Did this trip meet my expectations for sales?" The
simple answer is 'no', I expected to sell 100 books and only sold 1. Yes (1) book, LOL!

But I still consider the road trip a success because of the safety and protection God
gave Miriam and I during the weekend in the middle of Tropical Storm Lee with two bald
tires.

I saw God show Himself strong on my behalf throughout the whole trip and was reminded
that even in the midst of a storm HE hides me! It rained in bands off and on the entire
weekend and I showed up for all of my scheduled events but the people didn't because of
the storm.

I was encouraged by the twelve souls that weathered the storm and joined church on Sunday
in the midst of the storm! Yes, you read that right, 12 people joined church on a dreary
rain soaked day at a church that meets in a tent! Those of us who braved the storm had a
wonderful praise that turned into worship service and God's presence filled that tent!

The church has met in a tent for 6 years ever since Hurricane Katrina and you can't tell
by the enthusiasm of the members during service that they realize they are in a tent! We
danced in the aisles and rejoiced in the tent that was our ark in the storm!

It was simply marvelous to behold and a reminder of the resiliency that I come from as a
NOLA native. I was comforted by the presence of God even in the midst of the storm and it
made me adjust my expectations of what a successful road trip meant. I wanted sales but
GOD showed me souls! Ain't that what it's really all about? TGBTG for transforming this
story for me!

I'm encouraged b/c all was rescheduled for next month and I'm expecting, I'm awaiting,
anticipating, my deliverance ~ My change is on the way!

Get Up And Walk!

Are you tired? Are you broken? Are you sick? Is your life just like a roller coaster that you just want off of? It's Time to get UP and Walk!

Join me and my guest, Jewels Staiger who knows what it's like to be so broken that getting out of bed is a chore.She knows what it's like to be so sick that you don't know if you are going to live and you are scared. She knows what it's like to just about lose all hope, when suddenly, something so amazing happens, that it takes a moment for you to realize that you've just experienced a genuine miracle!

Tune in as Jewels shares her story of how Jesus took her hand in His and enabled her To Get UP and Walk!

You Never Get Over The Loss of a Child!

Join me as I talk to Joyce Adejumo about how her life changed after her ex husband drove drunk and crashed causing severe injury to their only child, Mitchie. Joyce shares how she cared for Mitchie with a smile on her face for 18 years. If you have been affected by a drunk driver you don’t want to miss this one!

CHARACTER is Who You Are When No One Is Looking!

Please join me and my guest, Sherron Watkins, as she shares that her character was forged long before she became known as the Enron Whistle-blower. I was always curious to know how her faith shaped her decision to be the lone voice crying out in the wilderness that "the emperor had on no clothes". Her response was that she innocently thought that the boss man, Ken Lay, would want to know the truth about his company.

A Christian Response to a National Tragedy

Each week on my show, I share portions of my own transforming story of Triumph over Tragedy and invite my guests to tell their stories to encourage you, my listeners, to believe that you are not alone when you face tragic experiences. Today’s show will be different in light of the violent tragedy we experienced as a nation less than ten days ago in Tuscan, AZ. I purposely held back one week from responding to this tragedy because I didn’t want my response to get lost in the multitude of articles and sound bites regarding our national response to this tragedy.

I also wanted to see if there would be a definitive Christian response to this tragedy besides praying for the victim’s families. Prayer works, I don’t deny its power, but after the funerals on last week, the families are asking themselves, ‘Now what?’

My Daddy, The Devil and Me

Author Debra A. Davis' own true harrowing story will turn everything you think you know about incest upside down. How can someone you trust and adore brainwash you and turn you into something you are not? Debra Davis thought she was Daddy’s little girl—but, at age 15, Daddy’s little girl became Daddy’s lover and slave. Led by her father into a violent life of crime, she became a prostitute, drug addict, victim of physical abuse, and prison inmate. She nearly murdered her father one night… but she never stopped loving him.

This is anything but an ordinary autobiography. Join me and my guest Debra Davis as she shares why she kept a dark and dirty secret for 21 years—and then, at last, she broke free. You’ve never heard anything like this before!

Living with a MS diagnosis and other life challenges

Would a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis in your family drive you to seek God for wisdom and direction on how to cope with this health challenge? If not, what would it take for you to seek after God when a crisis hits your family?

Join me and my guest, Katharyn Gray, as she shares how and when she recognized that intellect was her god and how dealing with her son's crack cocaine addiction, not her husband's earlier diagnosis with MS, became the catalyst for her to seek after God! Her attempts to rescue her son from addiction was beyond her abilities and she finally had to admit she couldn't do it in her strength. She needed someone stronger than herself with more power (God) who could actually save her son from himself.