Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My thoughts on a Good Man

A friend of mine on Facebook posted this:

"I don't think men have issues accepting that we'll lie in a heart beat: I think we have issues with being EXPOSED as liars before our women."
Is this true? That's a very sad commentary if so, why not just be honest and you won't have to worry about how you come across to your woman! Duh!
That's why I've passed on so many men because this is very important to me if you want me to trust your leadership as head of our house! NEXT.....!!!!
I've been single, head of household for more than a minute now and if you want me to submit to your leadership you need a track record of your obedience to following HIM for me to see that you are a good follower. Great leaders were ALWAYS great followers! Who you follow is where you will lead me.
I'm in many FB relationship groups and have commented in many of them about preparedness for marriage. Being formerly single w/no kids, married w/no kids, married w/kids and now widowed (single again) w/kid, I feel like I have a distinct experience and perspective on living the single life.
Most of the so called experts online are men who are reformed pimps and whoremongers who want to share the secret of getting a man. PUH-LEEZE! Many of the women online who offer that same advice do not have nearly as large a following (groupies) as the men.
I'm burnt out on all the advice out here and wanted to share my own tried and true experience of what to look for and here is my opinion of what a Good Man is FOR ME:
A man who is ready to commit to me ONLY, I don't want to be his #1 lady. He also demonstrates his fidelity to serving our God, not just lip service. I'm second in his life AFTER GOD, not his children. He knows what his life's purpose is and is walking in it and realizes he needs help (wife) to complete it. He realizes that I am his gift from God and appreciates God hooking him up with me. We both know or are willing to learn how to become one to fulfill God's purpose as a couple then blended family. He realizes that a good man leaves an inheritance for our children's children and works to make that happen.
When he knows his purpose and Godly assignment THEN he can better choose a helpmeet (wife) to HELP him meet and fulfill that assignment. Anything else is just fooling around, working out his issues in other women's lives until he figures out what he's doing. What's so disconcerting to me is that many Christian men claim to know better (God's Word) on the matter of sexual purity and still want to do it their way (auditioning women in their beds knowing full well they aren't even much interested in "wife-ing" them).

I'm accountable to God for my own decisions and when I meet disappointing men like this I deal with them accordingly.There was a reason why the men of the bible were older when they married. They had to PROVE themselves ready to provide for their own household and most times that takes time. A man also needs to have the emotional intelligence to be able to lead his family with Godly wisdom because he has filled his heart with God's Word which he then uses to make wise decisions.

Unfortunately, I've heard too many men confess that they've wasted the better part of their lives because it took them so long to figure out their destiny. Ladies, if he hasn't grown up emotionally and mentally no need to play house and allow him to ruin your life! WHEN he realizes his purpose and begins to walk in it, he will realize that he's missing his helpmeet and THAT's when he should began watching and waiting for confirmation from God on who is best suited to be his helpmeet. There is a Godly standard that is well established in His Word to follow for this, all he needs to do is study God's Word. It's up to each of us individually to accept or reject this wisdom, just like salvation. Some come into agreement with His Word sooner than others and some not at all. It's up to us to choose wisely. In my opinion,when you know better you should DO BETTER, I'm just saying...