The Three Love Affairs of BBD

The love affair between Bern and her husband - 1989.

* Prayed that God would reveal our mates by Memorial Day/his birthday that year!

* Had known of each other for four years from the same friend circle.

* God opened our natural eyes to see each other as more than friends.

* I waited for him to make the first move, after he did, I responded!

* On our first date he proposed, I accepted, we double dated for a month then got 

married!

* We were married 12 1/2 years when tragedy struck and changed my life forever.

The love affair between Bern and her Lord - 2002.

* After realizing the love of my life was dead along with my firstborn, I had to 

determine who REALLY was my #1 love!

* After determining that my #1 love (God) was still with me, I knew I could and would make it through!

* I decided to become a model and living witness of the power of God to enable us to come through and not just go through the things that He allows in our life.

* As I kept that mantra before me of God giving us everything we need to not only go 

through but come through the trials of our faith, I believed I could and would and did this very hard thing!

The Love Affair between Bern and her God - 2009/2010

* God prompted me to write my story as a guide for others to follow that inspires and encourages them to know that they can make it too!

* Life is NOT OVER just because you've suffered a tragic setback!

* With God as our ultimate life coach we can make it through everything He allows to happen in our lives.

What heartbreak has God allowed in your life?

Where are you in that grief journey?

Still sore, bitter or better?

Let me tell you about My #1 and why His being My #1 kept me from losing my mind after all seemed lost. 

My husband was NOT my #1!

My children were NOT my #1! 

My job was NOT my #1! 

My #1 Is Still My #1! and because He is, I'm still here! Hallelujah! Have you figured it

out yet? GOD has been and still is My #1!

It's not always been so, but after I reordered my priorities after the death of both my

parents, I was straight and more prepared the second time I lost half my family in a car accident. Yes, you heard me right, the second time in one lifetime, to the same person! Twice in a my lifetime! What in the world?!

Today, if you received that kind of news what would be your first reaction? (WFA) I did all of that, what next? How would you plan to move on? Could you move on?

Let me share three of the ten principles found in my book, My #1 Is Still My #1! that can help you to survive the darkest night of your soul...

1) Make sure that God is #1 in your life before a crisis cones into your life!

2) Create a 911 list of people who know how to pray and will go to war in spiritual

battle for your soul!

3) Appoint a gatekeeper for access to you! This person will answer phone calls, the door and all repetitive questions for you from family and friends.

You will weary from the emotional drain if you don't plan to do these 3 things ahead of time!

This Testimony is REAL and Ongoing!

One of the side effects of losing half our family at one time in a car accident is the anxiety that Miriam has to hurry up and do it all before something bad happens. She wants to do everything at once, but I'm teaching her how to pace herself because we WILL have time to do it all. It's an emotional scar that I deal with daily and I try to coax her to trust God in this area as often as I can.

My testimony about the loss of half my family is MY testimony. Miriam is determining if it is hers. WOW! She is developing her OWN testimony about it and needs to vet it for herself!!! We are in transition and I'm rooting for her to COME through this just like I encourage others through the ministry of  the book My #1 Is Still My#1!

Everyday that Miriam lives she realizes that she has OUTLIVED her sister and from this point on she's leading a life that Naomi never did or will. I never realized the weight of that fact on her heart and mind. Help me to minister to my OWN child LORD as she goes through this stage in her grief and loss. WE NEED your prayer support, thanks! When I get this right she will be saved from a lifetime of unresolved grief and living healed and whole because of it! We will then be able to minister to other children and show them the way out too! GLORY!!!

What I share with you all in my posts are the day to day challenges of raising a child affected by tragedy at a very young age and how we are walking it out daily. I am encouraged for today is a good day!

What A Difference A Decade Makes!

This month 10 years ago my life changed dramatically! I lost my husband and eldest daughter in a car accident and my only surviving daughter, Miriam, was left with second and third degree burns. She was miraculously healed of her burn scars and I now live with a daily reminder of God's Grace and Mercy towards me! It has been a long journey towards recovery from grief and depression but TO GOD BE THE GLORY for transforming my story!

I'm writing this to encourage you to believe and have FAITH that God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we even know to think to ask of Him! He has healed my damaged emotions, kept me in my right mind and allowed me to be a stay at home Mom with my daughter. I have experienced multiple blessings over the years, too many to share in one post. I do share a few of them in my book, My #1 Is Still My #1!, which is my inspirational story of triumph over tragedy. This book offers hope to the hopeless, strength to the weak and a "how to" blueprint on moving through grief and loss. You can order it from my website at http://www.bernicebrightdickey.com/.

In celebration of the ten year anniversary God has allowed me several speaking engagements during the month of February. I will be speaking at several venues about how I overcame grief and loss and I invite you to come out and support me if you are in the Houston area. I will be posting them weekly on all social media platforms. Thank you in advance for your support now and down through the years!!

Tried and True Tips for making it through the holidays without loved ones

As part of my ministry to the bereaved and broken hearted I will be sharing tried and true tips for getting through the holiday season without your loved ones.

Tip #1 for making it through the holidays if you are still grieving over the loss of a loved one by death or divorce. Be intentional about making plans for the holidays. They will sneak up on you before you know it and everyone will think that someone else has invited you over for the holidays and you will end up home ALONE!
Let others know that you have made NO PLANS this year! Intentionally pla...n to do things differently than you would have with the loved one so that your past happy family memories won't weigh you down mentally and emotionally during the holidays. Create new holiday traditions with the family you still have and if remembering loved ones gone is comforting to you then by all means talk about them! Take away tip: Intentionally plan for how you will spend this holiday.

Tip #2 for making it through the holidays without your loved one. Create a 9-1-1 list of family and friends you can call when the going gets tough with overwhelming thoughts and memories.

You don't want to "catch up" anybody new to your testimony. These are people who already know your story and can pick up where you are emotionally by just hearing you breathe on the phone! They know you, they kn...ow what going it alone means to you this year and they are willing to be there for you at the drop of a hat.

Your 911 list is your emergency contact list when panic sets in, when grief overtakes you, when loneliness in the midst of company resonates with you - these are the people who understand what you are going through without you having to explain.

Compile that name list, keep it handy, and on speed dial and let them know who else is on that list so that they can keep up with what is happening to and with you. You want your 911 list to know and talk to each other, they will pray for you, intercede for you and cover each other as they all stand by you on this grief journey.

Tip #3 for making it through the holidays without a loved one. The last tip I will share for this series is forgive youself! Yes, FORGIVE YOURSELF for not wanting to participate in the holiday ra-ra-ra. Everyone else around you is going full speed ahead with the hustle and bustle of the holiday traditions of shopping, parties, tree trimming and the like and you just ain't feeling it, right? So what! Allow yourself to experience your true emotions and don't fake the funk. You're not there this year and those who know you realize that this is a difficult time for you.

Everywhere you turn you are reminded that your family has changed and so will your memories of the holidays going forward. It takes time to digest just how far reaching your loss is for you and your family and you need to be gentle with yourself. The world has not stopped to recognize that all of us aren't celebrating and we need not "hate on them" for not remembering that, LOL. If you have followed me and my first two tips, now is the time to implement them along with this final tip to help you make it through this holiday season.

You have Christmas AND New Year's to get through still, be on the lookout for the same emotions to come up next week as we turn the calendar on a new year. Same emotions, different day, same principles need to be applied! Let me know how you are doing this holiday season by posting your comments below, thanks!

You Never Get Over The Loss of a Child! Part 2

Join me as I talk to Joyce Adejumo about how her life changed after her ex husband drove drunk and crashed causing severe injury to their only child, Mitchie. Joyce shares how she used her own personal experience with drunk driving to motivate her to get several laws changed on behalf of victims here in Texas.

If you have ever been affected by a drunk driver you don’t want to miss part two of this very inspiring interview!

Forgiveness is a Choice!

My guest, Kent Whitaker, has experienced the deepest depth of lows and the highest height of highs in the span of the last eight years. He was a victim of a home invasion that killed half his family and later found out that the mastermind behind it was his own son!. In his book, Murder By Family, he shares his journey through grief and loss, forgiveness of and love for his eldest son. Listen in on our conversation as I talk with Kent, he can really relate to my own story of triumph over tragedy because he is living that same transforming story!

CHARACTER is Who You Are When No One Is Looking!

Please join me and my guest, Sherron Watkins, as she shares that her character was forged long before she became known as the Enron Whistle-blower. I was always curious to know how her faith shaped her decision to be the lone voice crying out in the wilderness that "the emperor had on no clothes". Her response was that she innocently thought that the boss man, Ken Lay, would want to know the truth about his company.

A Christian Response to a National Tragedy

Each week on my show, I share portions of my own transforming story of Triumph over Tragedy and invite my guests to tell their stories to encourage you, my listeners, to believe that you are not alone when you face tragic experiences. Today’s show will be different in light of the violent tragedy we experienced as a nation less than ten days ago in Tuscan, AZ. I purposely held back one week from responding to this tragedy because I didn’t want my response to get lost in the multitude of articles and sound bites regarding our national response to this tragedy.

I also wanted to see if there would be a definitive Christian response to this tragedy besides praying for the victim’s families. Prayer works, I don’t deny its power, but after the funerals on last week, the families are asking themselves, ‘Now what?’

Are You Emotionally Ready to Move Forward into 2011?

This holiday season has been very challenging for me for several reasons. In this interview, I share with transparency and authenticity how I have struggled through my own emotional triggers this month and how I decided to move foward (again) in spite of them. Dr. Carolyn Miller, who is also a personal friend, and I talked about the recent deaths of loved ones in my family, along with Miriam making 10 years old and how I underestimated their impact on me.

I share candidly and openly with the listening audience, the process I worked through to gain insight about my emotional issues and how I arrived at the decision to go back into therapy for a season to help me reconcile them. I had to recognize there was a problem before I could confront it. I pray that if you identify with me in this interview that you follow my example and get the help you need to move forward emotionally in 2011!

How To Bounce Back From Setbacks!

This past weekend I facilitated a city-wide Handling Grief and Loss during the Holidays Seminar that was open and free to the public. The experience was awesome because everyone was bereaved that attended this seminar and they all received a breakthrough and healing in their grief journeys. I was so overwhelmed by the positive comments and feedback that I received from the attendees that I invited a few of them from that seminar as guests on the show today.

Their comments and posts on the FB Fan page for ‘My #1 Is Still My #1!’ inspired the idea for me to have them on the show as guests so that you all can hear them testify from their own mouths of the emotional healing ministry that the book, “My #1 Is Still My #1!” has made in their lives. I wanted them to share the breakthroughs they received as a result of participating in my grief and loss seminar. I believe there is an unseen, all powerful source in the person of GOD who will walk you through your crisis if you submit to the process.

To God Be The Glory for empowering these attendees to break out from the spirit of heaviness they were living with!

Never Give Up on God, because He never gives up on us!

Have you ever wanted to give up on God? Have you grown weary waiting on God to answer your prayers? If you have had to deal with a chronic illness like Lupus and felt that you were all alone in your struggles, join me as I talk with Terri Williams as she shares her story with me. Terri allowed God to use her success in dealing with the health crisis experienced as a result of Lupus to inspire others who are struggling with the disease. Be encouraged by how God has transformed her living with Lupus for His Glory!

From Victim to Victor

Have you always felt that the only person you could count on was yourself? You couldn't depend on anybody because nobody else was there for you when you were younger, right? As a result, you learned at an early age how to depend on you and your skill set to get what you needed and wanted out of life.

Join me as my guest Alana Hill shares how God transformed her story from being a victim of her mother's substance abuse to being a victor over her chilhood abandonment issues. Check out this link for more information on this show's topic at http://www.nmha.org/go/codependency.